


a pocket full of dreams

by DuendeJunior, postingpebbles



Series: the Katsu-verse [1]
Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cats, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, No Spoilers, eiji works too hard and ash puts a cat on him, everything is good and soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-15 03:08:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16925364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DuendeJunior/pseuds/DuendeJunior, https://archiveofourown.org/users/postingpebbles/pseuds/postingpebbles
Summary: There’s a cat on Ash’s fire escape.(In which a cat adopts Ash instead of the other way around, Eiji is much too selfless for his own good, and certain confessions happen along the way.)





	a pocket full of dreams

**Author's Note:**

> raiza: what if a cat adopts ash
> 
> ollie: LET'S DO IT
> 
> (raiza: the discord chat and gdocs notes for this fic could be a chapter of their own)

There’s a cat on Ash’s fire escape.

For days, it—he can’t tell whether it’s a boy or a girl—has been coming to his window, presumably because it’s the best place in the building to sun oneself during the New York mornings. It’s a beautiful specimen: all white, with the fluffiest tail Ash has ever seen on a living being. It looks well-fed and cared for, but he can’t see any signs of a collar. By the looks of it, it’s been stretched there for a while now, enjoying the morning sunlight.

Ash would love to be a cat and also enjoy the morning light, but his chem homework is due in a few hours and he has two tests to study for (not that he isn’t prepared for those already, but being _more_ prepared won’t hurt), so he’ll have to leave those dreams for this mysterious visitor.

“See you,” he calls to the cat, flashing it a thumbs-up. The cat yawns.

Then he retreats back into his room to study.

 

* * *

  
About five hours, two assignments, and one short nap later, Ash emerges from his room.

The cat is still on the fire escape, its position seemingly unchanged from that morning.

“You’re still here?” Ash mutters, opening the sliding door and crouching by the cat. “Don’t you have somewhere to be?”

The cat (he really needs to figure out a name for it if it’s really going to stick around) looks at him for a brief moment, meows, and goes back to its nap. Ash has the distinct impression it just told him _nope_.

“…Fine, suit yourself.”

He leaves the sliding door open just in case.

Griffin won’t be back from work until later tonight, so Ash wanders around the kitchen to take stock of what they have. As it seems, there doesn’t seem to be enough for three.

He pulls his phone out of his pocket.

 

> **Me** **  
> ** _we need to buy cat food_
> 
> **Eiji** **  
> ** _………What_
> 
> **Me** ****  
> _i’m on my way_ _  
> _ _also you’re coming to dinner_
> 
> **Eiji** **  
> **_Yeah of course but Ash why cat food????  
>    
>  _

* * *

   
“I see,” Eiji says after Ash guides him to his room. The cat has moved inside, and is sniffing at Ash’s discarded jacket on the bed. “But doesn’t it have an owner?”

“Uh.”

Eiji fixes him with a Look. Ash wilts.

“There’s no collar or anything,” Ash argues, refusing to face him. “Cat’s been there the whole day.”

A beat of silence.

“Did—did you just call it _cat?”_

“ _There’s no collar_ ,” Ash insists. “It’s not like I can ask it _hey, what’s your name?_ ”

“Where’s your creativity?” Eiji approaches the bed with careful steps. The cat doesn’t look at him, too engrossed with Ash’s pillow to care. “Also, is it a boy or a girl?”

“Did you wake up today and decide _oh, I’m gonna expose Ash as an idiot_ or…?”

Eiji huffs. “It’s not like you make it difficult!”

Ash makes a face at Eiji while he’s not looking. God, if he didn’t love him so much—

_Nope, don’t keep thinking about that, move on, move on—_

“So,” Eiji’s voice startles Ash from his train of thought. “You don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl, but did you have any guesses?”

Ash blinks at him, and then shrugs. “It looks like a boy to me. A chill one.”

Eiji chuckles. “Well, you’re right about the chill part.” He turns to Ash with the cat on his arms. The unimpressed look is firmly attached to its face, but it looks quite comfy. “Not so much about the rest.”

“Huh?”

“Your cat’s a girl,” Eiji explains, grinning. “Thought of any names yet?”

Eiji’s eyes twinkle in the fading afternoon light, and Ash is so done. Here he is, dead, because of his beautiful best friend and the cat in his arms.

“You think of one,” Ash mumbles.

Eiji’s lips purse. “Isn’t this _your_ cat?”

“Aren’t _you_ the one who told me I have no creativity?”

Eiji rolls his eyes at Ash. It’s very unfair how he can do that and still look adorable, but Ash is going to be strong. “Fine, fine. Just don’t change the name later without telling me.”

 _As if I’d do that_ , Ash thinks as he watches Eiji scratch the cat’s head with two light fingers.

“So, let’s see,” Eiji says. “What do you think of _Katsu_?”

“Isn’t that a dish? I’m not naming my cat after food.”

“No, that’s _katsudon_ ,” Eiji clarifies. “ _Katsu_ means victory.” Eiji’s tone always becomes a little softer when he speaks in Japanese, his voice curling around the syllables in a way that English could never imitate.

“Katsu,” Ash tries. “It’s nice, I guess.” And Eiji beams when the cat stirs in his arms, peering over at Ash.

“See? She liked it!” He bounces Katsu in his arms a little.

Ash approaches them to pet her. He already can see the unholy amount of white fur that’s going to cling to his things from now on, but it’s going to be worth it. Katsu purrs deep within her throat, a small burbling sound, and Ash makes a decision.

“Eiji, we need to buy a lint roller.”

“Weren’t we _just_ outside?” But Eiji shakes his head and smiles. “Let’s make dinner first. We can go after school tomorrow.”

 

* * *

  
“Hey, Griff.”

“Hey.”

“Can I get a cat?”

“Will you take care of it and not let it destroy my bed?”

“Yeah, yeah, Eiji is going to help me.”

“Huh, good to know. Then sure, why not?”

Ash flashes him a thumbs-up.

“Cool. Here, meet Katsu.”

“ _Wait, what?”_

 

* * *

  
“…And what’s all that?” Griffin asks them the next day when he sees them entering the apartment with an armload of bags. “Hi, Eiji.”

“Stuff for Katsu,” Ash says. “Wait, don’t I get a hi?”

“You _live_ here, Ash.”

“So does Eiji!” Ash pauses. “Sometimes!”

“Hi, Griff,” Eiji says. “Where do I put the cat food?”

Griffin gestures vaguely to the kitchen. “There should be space somewhere under the counters. If not, then the bottom of the pantry.”

“Cool,” Eiji chirps.

Katsu _mews_ when she sees them, pawing at Ash’s pant leg, and Ash automatically sets down his own bags to pick her up. _She’s going to get so spoiled…_ He can hear Eiji snickering at him, but he pays no mind to it.

“We gotta get her to the vet soon,” Eiji says, his voice muffled because he has half of his body inside the pantry. “See if she’s microchipped and if not, microchip her, get her shots, and so on.”

Ash nods, a bit stiff. Katsu has decided to use his shoulder as a perch, so he has to keep his head at an awkward angle. It’s going to hurt like a bitch later.

“I should have asked before, but how do you know that much about having a pet?” he asks.

“I had dogs before,” Eiji says. He gets out of the pantry for a second. “Wait, didn’t I tell you this?”

“Kinda? But I assumed they were your mother’s.”

“Nope.”

Ash is slightly blindsided. They’ve known each other for so long that there’s very little that he doesn’t know about Eiji—so every new facet that pops up, no matter how insignificant, is rare.

He reaches upwards and rubs Katsu’s head to cover his surprise. Through his thin shirt, he can feel the sway of her white fluffy tail. She butts his hand in response, purring.

When Eiji reappears, Katsu leaps off of Ash’s shoulder and down to the ground. Several soft meows leave her tiny body as she sits at Eiji’s feet, clearly requesting attention from her other owner, and a laugh bubbles from Eiji’s throat when he picks her up.

“Hi Katsu-chan,” Eiji coos, scritching under her throat.

“She’s really warmed up to you guys,” Griffin comments, sweeping up his cap from the table. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a friendly cat before.”

“She’s turning into a real sweet lady. Aren’t you, Katsu?”

Katsu doesn’t deign to respond, but Eiji smiles anyway. Ash’s heart stutters.

“Well, I’ve got to go to work,” Griffin sighs. “We can’t all be high school boys and their cat.” Then to Ash, his tone softening, “I have the late shift again. Don’t stay up too long. Remember to do your homework.”

“I will,” Ash says, rolling his eyes. “Besides, I’ve got Eiji here to keep me accountable.” He takes Eiji’s “ _Hey! How do you know that?_ ” for the token protest it is and retrieves Griffin’s packed lunch from the fridge. “And please don’t starve.”

“Yes, Father,” Griffin laughs.

“ _Father?”_ Ash splutters, shoving the bag into Griffin’s hands. “If anything _you’re_ the dad—”

“ _Suuuure._ ”

“Oh wow, look at the time!” Ash says loudly, pushing his brother to the door. “It’s time for big bro Griff to go to work and save the city! See you!”

Griffin snorts. “Love you too, Ash.”

“Stay safe.”

“Stay safe!” Eiji echoes.

“Aren’t I always?” Griffin says with a smile before closing the door behind him.

Silence settles over the apartment for a moment, and Ash’s heart twists in his chest. Griffin _never_ fails to come back home, but Ash can’t help but worry anyway whenever he leaves for work.

“Ash?” Eiji asks.

“Okay, time to check if Katsu likes any of the toys,” Ash says, shaking his head a little to clear the nerves in his brain. “Do you remember if we can return them if she doesn’t?”

Eiji still looks concerned, but relaxes at Ash’s reassuring grin. “Only because Ibe-san’s sister manages the pet shop.”

“Lucky us.”

“What would you do without me?”

Ash snorts. “Yeah, whatever,” he says. Then he smiles.

 _What would I do indeed_.

 

* * *

  
The next few hours consist of broken promises.

To Griffin, at least.

Not much homework is done and they barely notice the clock going past the 1 AM mark, but at least they’re able to find out a lot about Katsu’s likes and dislikes concerning toys.

Her favorite seems to be a beige squeaky toy whose color Ash found horrid, but it was the only one of its kind at the pet shop.

“Cats chase rats,” Eiji had insisted. “She’ll love it.”

“This color _offends me_ , Eiji,” Ash retorted. “I can’t let my cat go through this.”

Eiji made sure to look him in the eye the whole time while the cashier was ringing the item—in addition to a mouthed _I told you so_ as soon as Katsu pounces on the toy and doesn’t let it go. Ash arrives at the conclusion that he’s housing two traitors.

She also falls in love with the laser pointer. Her ears twitch in excitement whenever her paws “catch” the light, and it might actually be the cutest thing Ash has ever seen.

(Except for Eiji, though. Maybe. _Maybe._ )

The jingly balls get a colder reception—Katsu doesn’t seem to like the fact that they run away on their own. Or that specific jingling noise.

“It’s irritating, isn’t it, girl,” Eiji tells her, putting the balls back on the respective bag. Then he turns to Ash, a familiar fire blazing in his eyes. “We’re returning these now.”

“Eiji… it’s nearly 1:30.”

Eiji pouts. “Later, then,” he amends.

It takes almost two more hours for them to wear Katsu out enough for sleeping. Ash’s train of thought has started to become truly nonsensical by this time, and clearly, so has Eiji’s.

“We should—” Eiji yawns loudly, cutting himself off. “Probably take her to the vet at some point to make sure she’s healthy. And how old she is.”

“Mm.” Monosyllables seem to be the only thing Ash can handle at the moment. How is Eiji speaking in full sentences?

“Wait, I said that already.” Eiji rubs at his eyes. Ash almost blurts out a “ _stop being so cute_ ” before he catches himself. A sleepy Eiji is getting more and more dangerous each day. “Anyway, tomorrow. Now bed.”

Katsu’s bed is shaped like a little couch and covered in tiger print. Ash’s pick this time. Eiji had worried it was a little too _loud_ in terms of the pattern at the time, but Ash countered with the horribly-colored squeaky rat that Eiji insisted on getting.

“One item from each of us,” Ash had said.

And now, Ash picks up Katsu and places her into the bed. Her eyes droop, and then she curls up into the bed’s warmth and falls asleep.

“She’s so precious,” Eiji whispers, leaning his head against Ash’s shoulder.

“She is,” he agrees. Ash can feel Eiji’s warmth through the shirt.

And if they fall asleep by Katsu rather than in the actual bed? Well. No one will know that.

 

* * *

  
Griffin takes one look at their haggard faces the next morning and sighs.

“Go to school,” he says, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I’ll take care of Katsu while you’re gone.”

Eiji can only manage a tired wave as he walks out the door, but Ash just mumbles a slurred goodbye.

Katsu meows.

 

* * *

 

> **Me** **  
> ** _hey eiji do you wanna come over later again?_
> 
> **Eiji** ****  
> _Ahh sorry I can’t_  
>  _I have work and practice tonight and two exams tomorrow :(_ _  
> _ Tell Katsu I love her
> 
> **Me** **  
> **_will do  
>    
>  _

* * *

  
They end up not seeing each other that week, which means Ash has to take Katsu to the vet by himself. Eiji sends him an _It’s going to be all fine c:_ a few hours before he has to go, and Ash clings to Eiji’s positivity as he walks through the streets with Katsu in her carrier and a few scratches on his arms.

She _looks_ fine. She _should_ be fine. But that doesn’t stop Ash from bouncing his leg up and down in the waiting room as Katsu bats at it through the carrier.

“Katsu and Aslan Callenreese?”

Ash stands up when he’s called and picks up Katsu, the anxiety thrumming in his heart increasing with each step. What if she’s not okay? What if they find some rare, weird disease that’s only found in cats on fire escapes?

What if they take her away?

But thankfully, everything turns out fine.

“You’ve got a healthy girl, Mr. Callenreese,” the vet tells him. “You could have brought her for a check-up earlier, but everything is all right.”

Ash scratches his neck, embarrassed by the lecture and by being called _Mr. Callenreese_. That’s Griff, not him, and even then Griff is _Officer Callenreese_. “I got her pretty recently. Do you know how old she is?”

“About eight months,” the vet says. ”And real lucky, I would say. No signs of previous pregnancies were found.”

As he schedules the day for Katsu’s spaying, Ash ends up buying a collar—fuzzy and leopard-printed. He puts it on her and takes a picture to send to Eiji before trying to make her enter the carrier again.

 

> **Me**  
>  [ _attachment: katsu with her new collar.jpg_ ]  
>  _look at this rad princess  
>    
>  _

The read receipt under the message indicate Eiji has seen it. He doesn’t send a reaction back.

Something twists in Ash’s stomach when he sees.

 

* * *

   
A few days later, Katsu ends up committing her first homicide.

Ash walks into the apartment after school, and _immediately_ senses that something is wrong when Katsu doesn’t appear at the sound of the door.

“Katsu?” he calls, wandering deeper into the room. “Katsu—holy _fuck._ ”

The living room curtain, one that Griff had painstakingly handpicked to impress a former boyfriend, is in _shreds_. There are pieces of fabric everywhere, including a long strip still stuck to Katsu’s claws.

She doesn’t look very sorry.

Ash drops his backpack with a loud _thud_ and runs both of his hands through his hair.

“ _Katsu_ ,” he says. She finally approaches him, meowing softly and pawing at his leg. “No, you stop that, we gotta have some real words here.”

She grabs his pant leg. The piece of curtain is still hanging from her paw.

“How did you even do this, anyway?” Griffin is either going to kill him or lecture him for four hours on the importance of being responsible. Ash isn’t sure which option is the least terrifying one.

Meanwhile, Katsu has turned into a decorative piece for his right pocket. She’s very good at climbing, Ash has to give her that.

Ash balances Katsu on his hip while trying to fish out his phone, his free hand already typing out a text to Eiji, but as soon as he’s about to hit _send,_ he hesitates. Eiji’s been busy lately—busier than usual with school, work, watching over his sister and grandmother while his mom’s out—he probably doesn’t have time to deal with Ash’s problems right now.

Ah, screw it.

He hits the send button, watching the message bubble turn blue, and turns back to Katsu.

“Now listen here, young lady,” Ash begins, trying to sound like Griff ( _Griff,_ who shouldn’t be coming home until late and thus not _ever_ seeing the curtains like this if everything goes right), “we _don’t_ rip things in the house. Got it?”

Katsu licks her paw in response.

“Got it?” Ash repeats, picking her up properly and staring into her eyes. She meows. “Good.”

With Katsu still clinging to his hip, Ash works to pull down all of the damaged curtains so he can repair them away later. Hopefully Griff kept some spare fabric in the closet…

His phone buzzes.

 

> **Eiji** **  
> **_I’ll be right over  
>    
>  _

Eiji lets himself in about twenty minutes later, the key to the apartment glinting as he pockets it, and Ash nearly trips over Katsu in his rush to get to him.

“Wow, feels like I haven’t been here in a while!” Then Eiji laughs when Katsu scampers over and climbs up his leg. “Aww, missed you too.”

Ash doesn’t say anything, and instead observes the way Eiji holds himself. There’s something slightly _off_ about it—in the shadows under his eyes, the drag of his feet, the slump of his shoulders—and when Ash looks closer, Eiji’s already-thin frame seems to have gotten even _thinner._

Something clicks in Ash’s mind.

“When’s the last time you’ve slept?” Ash asks, his voice lowering. Griff is at work, and it’s not like Katsu can repeat anything they’re saying, but it’s always habit whenever they talk about… about this.

Eiji opens his mouth to say something, maybe some kind of retort, but Ash frowns.

“ _Actually_ slept, Eiji. More than two hours.”

Eiji suddenly seems to find Katsu’s fur very interesting. “Probably… probably that first time I met Katsu.”

Ash _tsks._ That had been over a week ago, and this isn’t the first time this has happened; Eiji is selfless to a fault, and Ash knows that he’s taken all the burdens that his family has placed on his shoulders without complaint. And now that there’s the fear of college tuition next year on top of his father’s hospital bills…

“Take a nap. I’ll wake you when it’s time for you to go.”

“But the curtains—”

“I can handle that myself,” Ash promises, steering an unresisting Eiji to his room. “Go to sleep.”

It’s the right call. Eiji passes out on top of the covers in less than a minute. Ash has to take off his sneakers before they smear the bedding, and the wave of fondness that comes upon him is so strong he can feel himself toppling over.

He leaves Eiji to his much deserved nap and goes to find the material he’ll need to fix the curtains. Hopefully Griffin hasn’t thrown everything away in an attempt to “clean the apartment.”

Ash roots around the storage closet and pulls out a dusty sewing machine and a roll of fresh fabric, getting to work immediately. It would be stupid to replace the curtains after how much Katsu has mangled them (in addition to how much Griffin dislikes this particular pattern now), so Ash decides to make a fresh set.

He’s still working by the time Griffin gets home.

“Ash?” Griffin calls. Ash can hear the heavy thump of his working shoes hitting the floor.

“Here!” he calls back from the kitchen table.

Griffin enters the room with a white plastic bag in hand. “I got us some Chinese…” He trails off. “I didn’t know we still had Mom’s sewing machine.”

“It was in the storage closet,” Ash answers. He clears some space over the table so Griff can put the food over it.

“Okay… And what are you doing with it?”

Ash stares at the piece of half-sewn fabric as if it can give him a good answer.

“…It’s a gift for you?” he tries. “I was looking at the living room curtains today and I remembered you crying over them when what’s-his-face broke up with you. Then I thought _hey, why does Griff need to relive everything that douchecanoe said every time he enters the living room?”_

It’s not a total lie. Ash is still extremely pissed at said douchecanoe for breaking his older brother’s heart—it just… took a while for them to start hanging up new curtains. Ash only hopes that Katsu doesn’t start wrecking these later.

And Griffin blinks at him, stunned into silence.

“O-Oh,” he says, looking touched. “Thank you. I appreciate it.”

“It’s no problem.” But then Ash spies Katsu slinking behind Griffin, a piece of the old curtain still clinging to her claws, and suddenly stands up. “One sec, I’m gonna go check on Eiji.”

“Eiji’s here? You should’ve told me, I would’ve gotten some more from Chang Dai—”

“He can have my food,” Ash says, waving him off and scooping up Katsu in one fluid motion. “Be right back.”

Ash pads over to his room, gently knocking on the door. “Eiji? You up yet?” When Eiji doesn’t answer, Ash walks deeper into the room. “Eiji, Griff got some food. You should eat something.”

Eiji mumbles something unintelligible in response, his face scrunching up. There’s a slight flush on his cheeks.

“Eiji?” Ash calls again.

When he goes to shake Eiji awake, his hand brushes Eiji’s cheek. It’s on _fire_.

He takes a step back. “Griff! _Griff!”_

“What?”

“It’s Eiji, something’s wrong!”

Ash isn’t sure what’s louder, Griffin’s hurried footsteps or the thundering of his heart. Katsu is warm and purring softly in his arms, but for once her presence doesn’t seem to calm him down.

Griffin appears at the bedroom door. “What’s happening, Ash?”

“I don’t know, I think he has a fever.” Ash puts his hand to Eiji’s forehead, a firm touch, and sure enough, he’s burning up. Eiji lets out a faint sound at that. “He told me he hasn’t been sleeping, why does he have to be so _stubborn_ …”

Griffin pushes him back with a firm hand, something serious settling into his gaze. “Go get a damp towel for him. And some water—we should have some Tylenol in the cabinet. I’ll try and dress him in something lighter.”

Ash retreats back to the kitchen as fast as his feet can carry him, putting Katsu back on the floor as he goes. He almost knocks a few plates off in his haste, but soon enough he’s back in the room, displeased cat at his heels, with everything Griff asked.

Griffin takes them from him without a word. He’s managed to get Eiji in some semblance of a sitting position, and there’s a fresh shirt (one that’s undoubtedly Ash’s) on his torso.

“Hey Eiji,” Griffin says, gently shaking him. And when Eiji’s eyes finally open, hazy and unfocused, Ash’s heart begins to ache. “Can you take this? It’ll help your fever go down.”

Ash rushes over to the other side of the bed to help Eiji hold the cup. “Stubborn idiot,” Ash breathes, though there’s not much heat behind it. “Remember that you have to take care of yourself too.”

Eiji swallows the pills and laughs weakly. “I’ll try to remember that next time.” Then, his gaze travels to the white cloud that’s just perched next to him on the bed. “Oh, hi, Katsu. Sorry we couldn’t play today.”

Ash huffs. “See? You have other responsibilities in this house. You can’t go around trying to carry the world on your shoulders and forget about Katsu.”

Eiji raises an eyebrow that’s much too sassy for someone battling a fever and days of exhaustion. “And who says—” He coughs once, twice, making Ash automatically reach out and rub his back. “Who says I forgot about her?”

Wrapped up in their little argument, neither Ash nor Eiji notices the fond smile on Griffin’s face. “Well, everything seems a little better now. Eiji, do you think you’re up to eating anytime soon?”

But Eiji shakes his head. “Maybe later? Thank you, Griff.”

“I’ll call your mom and let her know that you’ll be staying with us tonight so she doesn’t worry,” Griffin says, moving back. “Let me know if you need anything.”

“Thanks, Griff,” Eiji says again. He closes his eyes and runs a hand through Katsu’s fur. “And thank you, Katsu.”

Ash stares at him. “Don’t I get a _thanks, Ash, you’re so very kind to me all the time_ too?”

With his free hand, Eiji pats Ash’s head. “What would I do without you, Aslan Jade?”

He huffs and falls on the mattress, resting his head in Eiji’s lap. “Exactly. I’ll take care of you.” Katsu steps on his stomach, and he scratches her chin. “And she’s going to help me.”

Eiji’s smile is weak, but it’s one of the best things Ash has seen in a while.

 

* * *

  
“How are you feeling?” Ash asks about half an hour later, climbing in next to Eiji.

“Still a little tired, but better,” Eiji says. His expression is soft. Warm.

Ash touches his forehead to Eiji’s to check. His skin is still hot, but definitely cooler than before. “I’m glad.”

Even though the lights are off and the curtains are drawn, light from outside still manages to seep in. Ash reaches out to take Eiji’s hands, rough and calloused from pole vaulting, and squeezes them gently.

“I’m sorry for worrying you,” Eiji murmurs.

“As you should be,” Ash says. “But you’re forgiven.”

Eiji’s laugh is hoarse, and he coughs in the middle of it, turning away. He presses himself against Ash’s chest, their legs tangling together. “I don’t know what I’d do if I was never forgiven. You mean too much to me.” It sounds like a joke, but Eiji looks entirely too serious for Ash to respond with anything witty. His confusion must show on his face, because Eiji swiftly follows up with a smile over his shoulder. “Ah, sorry. You know I start to ramble when I’m sick.”

There’s a _yeah, I know_ right in the tip of Ash’s tongue, and the impulse to change the subject, like he has done so many times. But Eiji is so close, and Ash can still smell his own detergent on the shirt Griffin picked for Eiji to wear, the shampoo in his fluffy hair, and the thing that’s been welling up in his heart for a long time finally spills over.

“I’m not sure there’s anything I wouldn’t forgive if it came from you.” Eiji is still turned away, and that makes the words come easier. “Short of dying. Which I’m kind of trying to avoid here.” He purses his lips. “Bottom line is, you mean so much to me that sometimes I don’t even know what to do with myself.”

Eiji’s breath hitches, but Ash keeps talking. “You’re the most incredible person I know. You’re kind, dedicated, and I’d be so lost without you in my life.” Ash swallows. “Eiji, I—”

Eiji shifts, turning back around to face him. Ash can see now how deep the circles under his eyes are, and how tired he looks. But he also can see how _big_ his brown eyes are, full of tenderness and a quiet sort of trust. Having Eiji’s full focus on him makes Ash a bit dizzy. Good thing they’re already lying down, or his knees would have given out by now.

And there are other things too—the curve of Eiji’s jaw, the way his hair curls around his ears, the shape of his mouth.

He can _hear_ Shorter saying “Jesus, man, you’re smitten.”

He can’t even be mad because, well. He is.

“Ash?” Eiji asks, blinking up at him, and Ash realizes that he hadn’t finished speaking. He opens his mouth to say something, but Eiji leans forward and presses his forehead against Ash’s chest. “I don’t want to lose you either. Everything you said—I feel the same way. I have for a while now.”

“Eiji…”

“I—um, I meant to tell this to you before, but… I was accepted into college. At NYU. I’m still studying photography, but they saw me pole vaulting and gave me a huge scholarship. It’s more money than I’ve ever seen in my _life._ I just got the email today.” Eiji takes a deep breath, and peers up at Ash again. “I haven’t told anyone else yet. Only you.”

For a moment, Ash doesn’t know how to answer.

“I’m proud of you,” he finally says, feeling his lips curl into a small smile. “I know how hard you’ve worked for this.”

“Thank you,” Eiji says. His lips quirk up a little, but the smile doesn’t reach his eyes. It doesn’t take long for him to drop it. “I’m afraid, Ash.”

Ash touches his face and waits for him to go on.

“I don’t know if I can keep taking care of mom and grandma and Nahoko while keeping my grades up in college. And...” He averts his eyes. “I didn’t want to tell you of my feelings and then say I’m leaving.”

Eiji burrows his head deeper into the pillows. “But at the same time I wanted to tell you so we could have a little time together. Call me selfish, but I wanted you all to myself. Even if it was just for a while.“

“You won’t lose me, Eiji,” Ash promises. “We can—we _will_ make this work. I care for you way too much to just let go that easily.” Maybe it’s because it’s getting later, maybe it’s because there’s something deep within his heart that keeps unraveling with every word spoken and it feels much too good to stop now, but all that Ash can think about is that he never wants to know a life without Eiji in it.

The door creaks slightly, startling them. Before they can react, there’s a ball of fur making her way between their bodies to reclaim her spot.

Ash lets out a surprised laugh.

“You made me forget about my own cat,” he tells Eiji, who answers with an indignant pout.

“Who said _I_ was the one forgetting about Katsu again? You forgot about her all by yourself.” Katsu mews, and Eiji nods. “She agrees.”

Ash meows back at her, and Eiji almost chokes on his laughter. Katsu almost looks affronted.

“What did you say to make her look like that?” Eiji whispers, his dark eyes shining with mirth.

“Oh, you know, this and that,” Ash says with a roguish grin. Then he softens. “But I _was_ being serious earlier. You won’t lose me. Not if I have any say in it. And I’ll still be here while you’re off at college—it’s not like Griff and I will suddenly abandon your family once you leave.” He pushes Eiji’s bangs away from his eyes. “So don’t worry."

He’s about to move his hand away when Eiji grabs it to press a kiss to his knuckles.

“Thank you, Ash,” he whispers against Ash’s skin, and heat immediately crawls up his neck. Since when did Eiji become so smooth?

“A-Anytime.” His voice comes out sounding slightly strangled, and based on the way Eiji’s smile grows, he’s picked up on that.

But then Eiji yawns, his eyelids beginning to droop. “Are you staying here?”

“Well, it’s my bed,” Ash quips. “But I can get Katsu’s bed and we’ll both sleep on the couch…”

“No… Stay. Please.”

“Okay,” Ash whispers into Eiji’s hair. “I’ll stay.”

 

* * *

  
Katsu’s on the fire escape again. This time, she’s chewing on her toy rat, and the more it squeaks, the more she chews on it.

Ash sighs and sets down his phone, making Eiji momentarily look at the ceiling of the apartment as Ash goes to retrieve his cat from the outdoors.

“What happened?” Eiji asks, tilting his head.

“Katsu got outside,” Ash explains. He picks up his phone again and bounces Katsu in his arms, placing her in perfect view of the camera. “Say hi to Eiji. He’s working his ass off at college so he can buy you fifteen new beds.”

Eiji snorts, looking fond. “Yes, and all of them will be pink and glittery.”

“How _dare_ you,” Ash gasps with mock offense. “I take it back, don’t say hello to the traitor, Katsu.”

Katsu paws at the screen and meows. Eiji grins triumphantly. “She loves me more.”

“No, _I_ love you more,” Ash corrects.

Eiji’s face splits into the sweetest smile, and Ash has to fight the urge to kiss the screen. He’s not very keen on sharing more germs with Katsu than he already does.

“I miss you.”

“I miss you too,” Eiji says, his smile becoming more wistful. “Just think, Thanksgiving is in two months and I’ll be home for an entire week.”

“I can’t wait.”

“Neither can I.”

Ash could keep looking at Eiji for hours. He’s still a bit on the thin side, but it’s clear he’s been getting more sleep. Ash actually had to ask him how he managed that _after_ going to college.

And those damn eyes insist on being the most beautiful thing in the world, even through video.

Unfortunately, a message bubble with Shorter’s name attached to it breaks the spell.

“Ash?” Eiji asks. “Why are you looking at me like that? I was joking about the cat beds!”

“What?” That’s when Ash notices he’s frowning. “Oh, no, it’s just Shorter trying to interrupt us.”

“Is he there?”

“Nope, just a message. Hang on, lemme see what he wants.” Ash switches to his messages, then bursts into laughter.

“What did he say?”

“He hasn’t met Katsu yet!”

“What? Didn’t you help him with chem homework?”

“Yes, but at the restaurant. Do you really think I was going to pass up a chance to eat his dad’s food?”

“…So you just didn’t want to cook.”

Ash bats his eyelashes at him once he goes back to the FaceTime app. “I only cook for you.”

“Do you now.” Ash is almost offended at the lack of faith in Eiji’s voice, until he notices the slight twitch at the corner of Eiji’s mouth, indicating that he’s trying very hard not to laugh. And, as Ash said once, there’s not a single thing he won’t forgive Eiji Okumura for.

“Name a dish and I’ll make it for you during Thanksgiving.”

Eiji doesn’t even hesitate. “Natto.”

…Except maybe whenever Eiji makes him eat _that._  

“The things I do for love,” Ash says. He tries to put a hand on his chest for emphasis, but ends up smushing Katsu, who doesn’t like that one bit and scratches his hand. “ _Ouch! Katsu!”_

Eiji’s brows knit together in concern. “Are you okay? That doesn’t look too deep, but—”

Ash examines his hand. “It’s not that bad.” Eiji’s worried stare doesn’t abate, so he adds, “I’ll disinfect it thoroughly. You won’t even remember I got scratched when you get back.”

The stare morphs into a pout. “Won’t I get to kiss it better, then?”

Ash opens his mouth and tries to form words, but it’s hard when Eiji looks at him like that. “…Maybe. Come home sooner and you can.”

“Two months will go much faster than you think,” Eiji says. “I promise.”

“I guess so,” Ash allows, walking over to the couch and sitting down. Katsu stays on his lap and stares resolutely at the screen. “It still feels weird sometimes without you here. Is everything okay? I know it’s only been a few days since we last talked like this—”

Eiji smiles, his expression tender. “I’m okay. Thank you for worrying about me. And how are you?”

“I’ve been applying to some colleges,” Ash says, trying to keep his tone casual. “Columbia. Cornell. NYU. You know.”

Eiji’s expression becomes laced with suspicion at the last school, but he doesn’t comment on it. “Still can’t decide between chem or law? You’d do great in either.”

Ash shifts in the couch, earning a displeased look from Katsu, who leaps off his lap and curls up in her bed a few feet away. Watching her go, Ash says, “I’ve been thinking of doing both, actually. Majoring in chem and then going to law school.” When he glances back at the screen, Eiji’s giving him a look that’s full of so much pride that Ash nearly melts.

“You’re incredible.” Ash splutters at that, but Eiji’s still giving him that same look. “I have to go to class soon, but can we talk again tonight? I miss you.”

“Yeah. I miss you too.” He traces the shape of Eiji’s face on the screen. “Go be amazing. Love you.”

Eiji’s cheeks pinken. “Love you. See you soon.”

When the call ends, Ash sighs and sets his phone down. Katsu’s examining him, her head tilted, and Ash moves over to join her. “He’ll be back,” Ash says, scratching her ears. “Don’t worry.”

Then Katsu purrs, butting her fluffy head against his hand as if to say _I know_ , and the summer sun that comes from the open window seems to be giving its blessing to the whole city _._

They’ll be fine.

**Author's Note:**

> duendejunior: [tumblr](https://everymanwillbeaking.tumblr.com) // [twitter](https://twitter.com/misguidedLight)
> 
> postingpebbles: [tumblr](https://eijis-okuumura.tumblr.com) // [twitter](https://twitter.com/postingpebbles)


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